Author Blog Update 5/18/2024

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This entry is part 45 of 46 in the series Author Blog

I’ve spent the last week working on show don’t tell for the first scene. By working out the details of how things work I think it will help me visualize better what the comic should look like as well. It will also help improve my writing so double bonus.

So for example this is my original rough draft line:
“I glance around the street as my steps quicken towards the trolley stop, my footfalls muffled in the early morning fog. Glancing over my shoulder back the way I came, as the shadows darken, they seem to creep and roll encroaching faster.

This is a chatGPT example of rewriting the sentence but showing instead of telling:

“My gaze sweeps over the deserted street, my pace hastening as I approach the trolley stop. Each step, swallowed by the thick veil of morning fog, muffling the sound of my footfalls against the pavement. Casting a wary glance over my shoulder, I watch as the shadows deepen. Their sinister tendrils stretching and intertwining with the encroaching mist, slowly swallowing the street lamps.”

It’s interesting how there different. I’m trying to figure out how to write it in my own words, but show as much as chatGPT did. I believe practice is the only way to improve this, and to improve the speed I work at it.

That’s it for my update for the week. To many admin things to deal with this week, groceries, city code enforcement, searching for attorneys, and doctor appointments. Such is the life of adults.

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